When your partner comes home with a problem, often your first impulse is to make suggestions to fix the problem. You tend to interrupt and show your knowledge. That may feel like you’re helping but here’s the best way to help:
1. Listen, really listen and look at their face to see what they are really feeling.
2. When they are finished, mirror back what you believe you heard. Ask questions to clarify if you’re not sure what you heard.
3. Empathize by saying “that must have been hard” or “Wow, that sounds very upsetting, anyone would be upset if that happened.”

Afterward you might want to make suggestions, but when your partner is stressed, they can’t hear “what you should have done is…”

Try it and you’ll have a much warmer relationship.