Couple listening to each other

As we discussed on the Heidi Godman radio show, here are the 5 Top Steps for Keeping Your Relationship Strong and Loving:

Introduction: All couples have differences, but we can turn Power Struggles into Power Snuggles. Here’s how:

1. Learn What our Partner is Thinking & Feeling by listening to their words and watching their body language. Compromise and resolution becomes much easier as we understand each other. We should also validate our partner by telling them what they say makes sense from their point of view — even if we have a different opinion.

2. Offer Daily Appreciations, genuine compliments. This is the glue that keeps a relationship warm. Think of the A,B,Cs of appreciation: Their Appearance; their Behavior; their Character. Offer appreciations while looking directly at them. You’ll be amazed how you can improve your relationship with a daily appreciation!

3. Learn to discuss money issues objectively. Over 70% of couples argue regularly about money issues. You can reach compromises by understanding that you came to the relationship with different values based on your backgrounds and experiences. Respect these differences instead of trying to convert your values to your partner.

4. Connect sensually and sexually. Flirting and touching should be part of our lives — outside the bedroom as well as inside. When we met this contact was automatic. Now we have to continue this behavior or our love can falter. Just a warm touch on the shoulder will release hormones that promote trust. Men and women often have different desires regarding the frequency and type of sex. Share thoughts and discuss this sensitive issue; it is too important to ignore. Respect each other’s comfort level.

5. Learn how to love the world and the ordinary things of life. We emphasize trying to make our partner love us by looking good and being accomplished. We don’t put enough effort on loving the world — admiring a beautiful sunset, listening to an emotional song or watching the beauty of a baby learning to crawl. If we learn how to love, we become lovable. We love our children even with their imperfections. We should love our partner with their imperfections and they will love us with our imperfections.